The good, the bad, and the really ugly

I'm not a fan of 'airing your dirty laundry' but I am a fan of living an authentic life.  And I do think there is a fine line between the two.  As I've said so many times, blogging has been such a blessing to me.  God has used other blogs to teach me and encourage me on numerous occasions.  And I know that my blog is really nothing to so many and that's okay with me.  I enjoy writing.  It gives me a sort of peace.  Like journaling.  And if just one person can be touched as much as I have been blessed, it's worth it all.

I have had a few really big, more like huge, wake-up calls lately.  Actually I know it was more like a word from the Lord instead of just a 'wake-up call'.  And here is where that fine line between airing my dirty laundry and being real comes into play.  But in this case, I choose to be honest and transparent because just maybe my story can bless someone else.   

I yell.   When I get upset or frustrated or overwhelmed, I yell.  (I know this will come as a surprise to some ;-)  My excuse has always been that I am stressed, I have a strong-willed child and that my children need to know what real-life is all about.  People argue.  People yell.  People get mad.  I argue with my husband in front of the kids. {against his wishes.} I excuse it by thinking that they need to know that arguing and fighting are part of life.  {And to a healthy extent, I still believe that}. But the key is healthy fighting. 

This past week I had a dagger put to my heart.  The kids had been fighting and John asked them, "Why do y'all have to fight and yell at each other?  Why can't you just get along?"  And John Luke answered, "Like you and mama do?" And in that moment God said very clearly, "You are not modeling to your children Christ-like behavior." 

My 3 year old has several babies.  And trust me, she makes them walk a straight line.  Recently I've overheard her yelling at them at the top of her lungs.  She talks to them in a very hateful tone.  And she means what she says!  I've also noticed how much my kids yell at each other.  They speak so snappy and hateful to one another and sometimes even to me and others.  I find myself yelling at them to stop yelling!

I can humbly testify that God has opened mine eyes!   I'm so thankful that I serve a God of second and third chances and that He pours out His grace upon me!!

John and I love each other dearly and thankfully we have a good relationship with one another, but we do have our "moments", and what I have seen is that the way I handle myself in those moments is what is making the deepest impression on my children.

Eighty percent of children's personalities are formed in the first six years of their life.  And 80-90% of their moral development as well as the bond and connection they develop with those people around them most, happens in their first six years of life.

That is astounding to me!!! That is exactly why I do what I do day in and day out.  When I read that statistic, I was even more positive that what I do really does matter.  And that's why my influence {good or bad} is so crucial.

Our children follow our lead.  And the truth is, they see and hear everything.  More than we think.

I believe as a mother, I have the greatest influence in my children's lives. {At least for right now.}  So I asked myself,  "What kind of person am I shaping my child to be?"  Discipline and discipleship go hand-in-hand.  The way we discipline our children is a form of discipleship.  And I'll be honest, I'm not doing such a stand-up job.  It's like with any relationship....talk is cheap.  "Actions speak louder than words."  I can tell my children how to act and react.  How to love and cherish.  How to respect and honor.  I can recite our verse "be kind to one another, and love one another" a thousand times over, but my actions are their greatest teacher.  Christ took the time to teach his disciples, but He more often led by example.  The example of His own life.

Jesus taught His people how to love others by loving others.
Jesus taught His people how to serve others by serving others.
Jesus taught His people how to give unselfishly by giving unselfishly, even unto death.
Jesus taught His people how to accept the outcast by accepting the outcast.
Jesus taught His people how to forgive by forgiving us and dying for us.

"The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God's sight." ~ I Peter 3:4

What has God spoken to your heart about lately?  What do you do to ensure your children are being molded into the person God created them to be?

Blessings to you!

20 Little Things I Love About Fall...

Sitting here with a cup of coffee, a pumpkin pie candle burning, my soft cozy blanket, soundscapes playing in the background, and a view of the breeze blowing outside reassures me of the idea that I am a homebody.  A nester.  And for whatever reason, this time of year gets my "nesting" blood pumping even more.  I can't wait for the cooler, crisper mornings {and nights}.

As I sit here in a quiet house,  I realize once again how much I love home. It's amazing how even little spurts of quietness can revitalize me like nothing else.



It seems lately I've been overwhelmed with a list of issues.  I know that life in general is overwhelming.   Busy-ness is a curse---in my opinion, and we live in a society that is sick with it.   Some busy-ness we cannot control, but some we can.   I also realize that many would say to me that "I have no idea."  I only have 2 children, and they are still young enough to not be so involved in 'things'.  And they are right.  I can only imagine what life will be like in a few short years.  But I also think that learning now to say 'no' will be of great worth in years to come.  I believe that so many of us have bought into the lie that if we aren't running ourselves crazy with responsibilities that we aren't 'pulling our weight'.   Or that if 'we don't do it, no one else will'.  We forget to make God as much a part of our 'to do list' as he is our prayer list.  I totally believe we need to consult Him {and those in our home} on how much we should be 'doing'.

Sometimes we just need a breather.   And for me, fall is a time to take a good deep breath and enjoy.

Even though this time of year gets me to thinking about how close we are to Christmas {and talk about busy}, I can still seem to enjoy the simpleness of Fall. 



So with all of that said, I am linking up with Melissa at The Inspired Room to list 20 Little Things I Love About Fall.  One of the main reasons I love to read her blog is because she is such a big believer in being content with the home you have in this season of life and making the best of it for your family.  I appreciate the constant reminder.

20 Little Things I Love About Fall:::

• afternoon picnics in the backyard
• the smell of pumpkin pie candles
• cuddling with sweet little people 
• crispy mornings (hopefully;)
• the comforts of my little nest
• early morning quite time
• football Saturday
• cozy blankets
• snuggling on movie night Friday
• soup on the stove
• pumpkins 
• pretty leaves
• raised windows at night (when it get cooler;)
• pumpkin patches
• deep cleaning & organizing
• fields ready for harvest
• campfires
• afternoon walks
• schedules & routines
• big beautiful mums!

Happy Fall Y'all!

I'm a doer....

Not always so much of a be-er.

Another words, I'm a Martha but I want to be more like Mary.  Or at least be a little bit more like her.

"The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing.  One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it ---- it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."   ~Luke 10:42



 



I am a to-do list over-achiever.  I'm a super driven person in some areas, and I like to accomplish a task and move on to the next one.   And I am okay with that {to an extent}.  I enjoy things orderly, neat, in their place & there when I need them, floors clean, beds made, clothes clean, and yards neat.   I like that.  It literally makes me happy.  I enjoy myself much more when those things are in order.  Am I the only nut-case like this?

 



My problem is I'm too driven and when those things aren't up to my standards, I don't function well.  Another words, mama ain't happy so nobody's happy.  I'm constantly looking for a happy-medium in this area.  I feel defeated most days in this area and satan is riding me hard.

My biggest issue is finding the middle ground.

 



I believe that idleness is the devil's workshop.  With our words...  {"...every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement." ~Matthew 12:36}, and our time... {"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."
~Prov. 31:27}.



Here's the war in my heart:::
I have small children at home, who are growing up entirely too quickly.  My time with them is precious.  My influence on them is critical.  Afterall, isn't this the #1 reason I am home with them?

 

 The other side of that....I am a doer in the home.  God made me that way.  I am motivated in these areas.  As I said, I think my home should be neat and orderly.  Not only because I simply like it that way, but because I believe it blesses those who live here.  When things are in place, our lives run more smoothly therefore we are more likely to be in better spirits.  Disorder breeds confusion, anger, frustration, and a lot of wasted time. Besides, the cold reality is it has to be done!

"But can't mopping the floors and cleaning the bathrooms be considered wasted time when your children are growing up while you mop?!!"  (That was satan harrassing me;)  I am getting better in this particular area. 

But since I've almost gotten a grip on that area, here's where satan is dogging me now...

My dear sweet boy has one of the most tender hearts in all the world, he is just precious in tons of ways, but he is not a child that plays and entertains himself well.  He constantly needs/wants someone else in his presence while he is playing.  Therefore I get this from him all day... "Mama, can you come play in the playroom with me?"  "Can you come outside and watch me in the sandbox?"  "Can I have a friend over to play with me?"  "Mama, you said you were going to come play with me!"  "Come on!"  "Mama, when are you going to play with me?" 
And some of these questions are asked only minutes after I've just left the playroom or come inside from the sandbox!

It's constant. 



 



So, there again my question is where is the happy-medium?

I read a post yesterday that gave me some peace.....somewhat.  The title was "I am not here to entertain my children."

She writes:
"If the end goal of parenting for you is the same as it is for me (raising our children to know, love, and emulate Jesus), then “entertaining” certainly isn’t what the majority of our focus should be on. It should be focused on others, just as Jesus was. After all, the two greatest commandments are loving God and loving others.....The fact is: When we make it our mission in life to make sure that our children are entertained and having fun, we are teaching them that that is what life is all about–them! It also can prohibit children from using their imaginations and their own creativity to come up with something fun to do on their own ..."

This is where I tend to say AMEN!

On the flip-side, my sweet, little angel girl is the opposite.   She is very capable of making a day full of interesting fun for herself with only her purses, lipstick, babies, 'business', cowgirly pants & boots- or flipflops whichever suits her fancy for the day- and her very vivid imagination!   It's quite entertaining for me as well---until she catches me watching ;-)



 

Rather than going out of our way to find ways to entertain our kids, let’s go out of our way thinking of opportunities that we can serve and love others together.

How about you?

How do you find the happy-medium with your motherly 'duties' and time with your children?

Blessings my friends~

Revive Your Marriage-revive your attitude

"God gives us a choice about what our attitude will be.  We can choose to allow negativity to dominate our personality to the detriment of ourselves and all around us, or we can choose to be more like Christ. " -----Stormie Omartian

 

 



Let me start this post by saying that I am by no means an expert on marriage.   I am still learning and will keep learning (I hope) for many years to come.

I have, as long as I can remember, dreamed of being a wife and mother.  That was/is my lifelong dream.  Literally.  Not a glamorous dream to many, I am very well aware.  But for me, that is it.   Therefore, I find myself reading, studying, and thinking on those two areas of my life a lot.  I am the type of person that would go to a marriage conference at least once a week.  And would sit and listen to every sermon on marriage ever preached.  I love being married.  I love being a mama.  My heart truly is at home.

And in these short six years of my marriage, I have also found it to be the hardest job I've ever had.  I'm not going to lie.  It's hard.  It's a full-time job.   But for me, it's worth it. 

"The most difficult days of marriage are the ones after the wedding." ---author unknown

 

I'm joining in with a few of my favorite bloggers and taking the Revive Your Marriage Challenge:

 

 

So, what's a woman to do when it comes to reviving her attitude in marriage?

These are things I've found helpful:::

• Pray.  Pray hard.  Pray big.  Time spent in prayer, to me, is the greatest gift you can ever give your husband and children.  A believing, praying wife cannot be overestimated. (Prov. 21:1)

"No time is so well spent in every day as that which we spend upon our knees."J.C. Ryle

• Make time for God your first priority of the day.  I have struggled with this for 2 years.  I will be the first to admit, I'm not a morning person.  I have literally prayed that God would make me one, but so far that has not happened.  But one thing for sure, I have learned that when I am consistent with my quite time, in the early morning, God blesses me for it.  My attitude is better in all areas when I have had some time alone, with no distractions, to read, listen to sweet music, pray, and just meditate on God's Word.
• Be an encourager.  Your husband deals with negative people, with negative outlooks all day long.  Be the positive in his life.  Be his biggest fan.  Make sure he knows you are in his corner no matter what.  He needs the confidence that he has you on his side to face anything the world will throw at him.  Men seem to thrive on appreciation and respect so be the one to give it to him.  If you don't, someone else will.

"Encouragment is oxygen to the soul."----George Matthew Adams

• Create structure and scheduled times that make your marriage a priority.  I know this is hard.  Especially with little ones demanding so much so often.  But I believe 'dating' in a marriage is critical. With all the demands we face in our day to day lives, we somehow tend to forget why we ever got married in the first place.  'Dates' are fantastic times to reflect.  To remember the reasons we fell in love.  Schedule them.  And then guard that time with your life.  {And a little something I learned the hard way in this area....be the one that asks him to go on a 'date'.  Really, why should he always be the one to ask?  Don't just sit around wishing and fuming that he would be more romantic.  Was he romantic before you married?  Of course, he probably tried a little more.  But you did too, right?} Another lesson for me....dates can happen anywhere.  You don't necessarily have to go out to a fancy place.  A date can be on your back porch with a glass of sweet tea.  Or having pizza at home watching a movie.  Or even at McDonalds.  It's the time together, wherever it may be, that counts. 

"That which is hoped for never, ever happens.  That which is scheduled likely occurs."

• Prepare for him daily.   Your home is your sanctuary.   And a haven for your family.  As a wife and mother, it's your job to make it warm and inviting for everyone.  Coming home to a neat {not necessarily spotless!}, but kept home is uplifting.  Think about when you walk back into your house whether it's from the grocery store, or taking kids to school, when you walk into a home that is in order and smells good, you feel better.   The same goes for your husband.  It may just help him be in a better mood from the get-go;)  Welcome him with a smile.

"Learn to greet your friends with a smile, they carry too many frowns in their own hearts to be bothered with yours." ---Mary Allette Ayer

• Focus on the positive.   Whether in his presence or not.   He's not perfect.  We know that.  But remember, neither are you;)  Speak positively about him.  Don't lie, but be sparing with your critisicm.  Respect him with your words. 

"The tongue is the only tool that grows sharper with every use."----Washington Irving

• Avoid comparisons at all costs.  This is true for every aspect in life.  You didn't marry so & so's husband, so it doesn't matter what he does.  Make the most of your marriage.  The grass is never greener on the other side, so don't let satan make you think otherwise.  Be at peace with who you are and who you have as a mate.  Contentment is great gain.
• Treat your love like you want him to treat you.  Give him daily doses of love and grace. 
  "Grace, Grace, God's grace.  Grace that is greater than all our sins."  Where would you be without God's grace? 

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." ---I Peter 4:8

•  Be fun.  I'll admit it.  I struggle with this one.  I know I can be fun.  I used to live for the 'next fun thing' on the list.  But as time has passed and responsibilities have become greater, fun is on the bottom of my list.  But I am working on it.  So, as you work to have a good attitude, remember a fun person is such a bright light in today's gloomy world.  Laugh.  A lot.  I am trying to remember to tell myself everyday, "Lighten up, and live!"  Would it do you good too? 

"A joyful marriage is a bit of heaven on earth."----Heine

• Work at it.  Work hard at it.  All day.  Everyday.  Never stop.  Never give up.  Never give in.   It's worth it.  God promises us that it is.   And He is faithful.  And a bonus---your children will be blessed.

"For every hill I've had to climb,

For every stone that bruised my feet,

For all the blood and sweat and grime,

For blinding storms and burning heat,

My heart sings but a grateful song----

These were the things that made me strong!"

----Anonymous

•  Be grateful for any and all improvements.   No matter how small.  Voice your gratefulness to your mate and others.  It takes time.  A lifetime. 

"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."---Beverly Sills

Throughout this week, look for ways to encourage and better your attitude {and your husband's}.

 Please take this as an encouragment to you from me, and not a 'sermon' from one who thinks she's got it all figured out.   As I said, I'm still learning.  Lots~

 And be sure to check out these fantastic blogs to read more about reviving our marriages!


                                


Counting Our Blessings,

5 steps to the solution to insecurity

"Anybody can be like everybody else.   Only those who are exceptional choose to believe the possible over the probable.   You, beloved, were created to be exceptional."

                                                            ---------Beth Moore

 Can you imagine that there is a God that actually knows the number of hairs on our head and knows us by name?   We were fearfully and wonderfully made.   And we were bought with a price.

We are exceptional.  

Why do we so often feel inferior?   Less important.   Less needed.  So insecure.

It starts so young.   And steals so much from us --- Our  Joy.  Love.   Relationships.  Friendships.  The list could go on forever.

Listen to this story.   It's scary how much I can relate.

A girl was trying to be faithful to her early-morning quite time.   She tells a story about listening to the Bible on tape while she worked out on her treadmill.

In between verses, my mind would wander to other things, like my flabby arms.   I began to scold myself for not being more diligent with exercise.  Then I followed my thoughts down a path of how disappointed I was that I let my weigh fluctuate.  I would veer off my miserable mental path every few seconds to tune back into the Bible that was still reading in my ear.  I remember distinctively tuning in just in time to hear Psalm 84:1.

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!

Wow!  That is sooooooo me!!!  Can you relate?!

So how can we start helping each other out?  How can we be a part of the solution to insecurity?

In her book, So Long Insecurity, Beth Moore suggests these steps:::

1.) Stop Making Comparisons
The nature of our competition depends to a large extent on what we tend to value.  If appearance is a personal premium, we have the tendency to rate ourselves according to the looks of those in eyeshot.

 2.) Start Personalizing Other Women
If she got the guy we wanted, we don't see her in terms of a multilayered life of ups and downs, self-doubts, and second guesses.  We depersonalize her into a manipulator or a relationship wrecker.  It's easier to despise her that way.

3.) Don't Trip Another Woman's Insecurity Switch
If you have a fabulous figure, you don't always have to wear a skimpy bathing suit when you and your husband are going boating or to the beach with several other couples.  By all means, wear it for him in a less public place, but take caution before you parade it in front of all the other husbands and their wives.

4.) We Must Be Examples of Secure Women
Most women will likewise never believe that a secure woman is a real, live possibility until they see one face-to-face.  Problem-to-problem.  Theat-to-threat.  Chase-to-grace.  If you'll become the first example in your sphere of influence, you won't be the last.

And one more that is not in her list but that she talks about in detail:::

: Money/Status/Things will NOT make you more secure.
We are all so very tempted to think that financial solidity would make us secure.  No amount of stuff and no amount of money can soothe the savage beast of insecurity within us all.   Our world system has made financial promises it can't keep...and it's finally admitting it.  We had all better get serious about making wiser financial  decisions and learning the science of saving and saying "no" to our WANTS.
 source
                                                                                  
The insecurity equation can play out in any number of ways.   These are a few:::

• I tried to talk to her + she seemed really distracted = she hates me.
• She's really gorgeous + she gets a lot of attention that I don't = she must be really conceited.
• She's got this + she's got that = I've got nothing.
• She doesn't have this problem + I've got that problem = she doesn't have a care in the world.
• Look what she's got on + look what I've got on = I have the fashion taste of a tsetse fly.

Do any of those sound vaguely familiar?  I mean she hits it right on!!!

I know that all of us have different issues.   And I'll be perfectly honest.  Before I started reading this book, I truly did not think I had any trouble with insecurity.  Now, almost finished with the book, I realize I do have struggles that I would have never identified had I not read her book.   Since I can identify those insecurities, I can now know how to recognize them, fight against them, and move on from them. 

All women are insecure.

If I could recommend any book in the world to women of all ages, this would be the one!!!

"Take your dignity back no matter where you've been or what has happened to you.   Hold on to your security for all you're worth.  It is yours.  Nothing and no one can take it from you." ---Beth Moore

I wish for you a weekend of love, joy, and memories!

Now get out there and take hold of your security!!!   And then pass it on to your fellow girls!

All info. comes from Beth Moore's book So Long, Insecurity.

I'd Choose You

"Mom, nothing's gone right since I left for school this morning," groaned Norbert.....
"Did you miss the roller coaster ride to school again?" his mother asked. "Well, I got to the coaster stop just in time, but everyone else already had someone to sit with. So I had to sit all by myself."
As he spoke, a big, big tear rolled down his trunk.  "Norbert," his mother said, in her softest, warmest voice, "if I could use my arms to hug only one child, guess which one I'd choose....."

..."If I could use my voice to cheer for only one child, guess which one I'd choose...."

.."if I could give a 'You're Someone Special!" medal to only one child....guess which one I'd choose."

..."if I could help just one child realize what an exciting and wonderful future God has just for him, guess which child I'd choose."

...if I could tell him what an exciting and wonderful future he has, especially on those days when he doesn't get picked....guess which one I'd choose every time.

I'd choose you, forever and always!

"Son, God chose you too. On your worst days and your best days, God's love always shines on you," his daddy said...
                                                                        ------ "I'd Choose You!"   by John Trent



With the new school year starting, I am finding myself very weepy.  {Which really, I'm always weepy. Especially when it comes to my children. What can I say? I'm a weepy mama}.    Even though I'm not experiencing the 'real school' yet, I know time is passing me by so quickly and as bad as I want to stop it, I can't!





Anyway,  I love the message behind this precious book.

The point being made is as parents we should always remember to give our children 'our blessing.'






It's not a formal ritual or something complicated or confusing.  It involves five simple steps from the Bible that place affirmation, encouragment, and acceptance right in a child's heart.

• giving appropriate, meaningful touch, such as a big, loving hug
• speaking words of affirmation, represented by cheering
• expressing high value, as seen in the "You're Someone Special Medal"
• picturing a special future (children often hear parents' predictions about their future with literal effect)
• making an active commitment to include the blessing as a regular part of their lives





The author's example of his blessing to his children goes like this:::

"Lord may you bless Kari and Laura today.  May you help them to know how much you love them and what a wonderful future you have for them.  Thank you for all the warmth and love you've put in their lives and how kind and strong they're both becoming.  And Lord, may they always know that we love them, and may they always know that out of all the kids in this world----- we'd choose them.  Amen."

So simple but with such a huge impact on a child's heart for now and all the years to come!







I pray that you all have had a sweet "first day", and that God will bless your precious ones as they {and you} embark on a new journey!

And may we all always remember to let our sweet ones know that no matter what, we'd choose them!

"The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people,  his treasured possession."  ----Deuteronomy 7:6

Who really knows what this post is about.....

I had a whole bunch of good ideas that made perfectly good sense that I had planned to write here, but after several interruptions from some cute little kiddos, and with it now being entirely too late, I lost all of it.  So.....here is a.....well I'm not sure.

I really like this red barn abd the simplicity of the house.  Looks so calm and relaxing.

source

I have been studying on what to do with my bathroom for months.  I love the look of this one.

How do you like my new haircut?

Just kidding ;-)
I'm totally too chicken to do this, but I love this hairdo.



 source

I need a few copies of this to post around my house;)

"True unity is not agreeing on everything, it’s working through the mess together. Comparison steals unity and joy. Want to combat jealousy? Actively praise someone else! Encouragement brings women together. Use my platform to promote others."
                                                           -------- Joy, Gracefull Mama

"Learn to see God in the details, in the laundry, the dishes, the ants on the ground. We were created to resonate with stories. God loves stories, Jesus is a story. Also, read good fiction. When I read good storytelling, I’ll learn to tell my stories better."
~Sarah Markley, The Best Days of My Life



"God appoints people who disappoint to point to the God who doesn’t. There are no Rock Stars here. Christ is the Rock and we are the stars who reflect His light. Success is found in servanthood and obedience right where I am. Christians aren’t about applause, they are about an altar. God wants real, honest, threadbare women to do His work His way. I’m not rain, I can’t quench the dry places. I can only point to the one who can. But I can have my voice join my sisters’ voices and together we make thunder!"
 ~Ann, A Holy Experience

Good night friends!

Happy Friday~