Sunday, October 28, 2012

The good, the bad, and the really ugly

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I'm not a fan of 'airing your dirty laundry' but I am a fan of living an authentic life.  And I do think there is a fine line between the two.  As I've said so many times, blogging has been such a blessing to me.  God has used other blogs to teach me and encourage me on numerous occasions.  And I know that my blog is really nothing to so many and that's okay with me.  I enjoy writing.  It gives me a sort of peace.  Like journaling.  And if just one person can be touched as much as I have been blessed, it's worth it all.

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I have had a few really big, more like huge, wake-up calls lately.  Actually I know it was more like a word from the Lord instead of just a 'wake-up call'.  And here is where that fine line between airing my dirty laundry and being real comes into play.  But in this case, I choose to be honest and transparent because just maybe my story can bless someone else.   

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I yell.   When I get upset or frustrated or overwhelmed, I yell.  (I know this will come as a surprise to some ;-)  My excuse has always been that I am stressed, I have a strong-willed child and that my children need to know what real-life is all about.  People argue.  People yell.  People get mad.  I argue with my husband in front of the kids. {against his wishes.} I excuse it by thinking that they need to know that arguing and fighting are part of life.  {And to a healthy extent, I still believe that}. But the key is healthy fighting. 

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This past week I had a dagger put to my heart.  The kids had been fighting and John asked them, "Why do y'all have to fight and yell at each other?  Why can't you just get along?"  And John Luke answered, "Like you and mama do?" And in that moment God said very clearly, "You are not modeling to your children Christ-like behavior." 

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My 3 year old has several babies.  And trust me, she makes them walk a straight line.  Recently I've overheard her yelling at them at the top of her lungs.  She talks to them in a very hateful tone.  And she means what she says!  I've also noticed how much my kids yell at each other.  They speak so snappy and hateful to one another and sometimes even to me and others.  I find myself yelling at them to stop yelling!

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I can humbly testify that God has opened mine eyes!   I'm so thankful that I serve a God of second and third chances and that He pours out His grace upon me!!

John and I love each other dearly and thankfully we have a good relationship with one another, but we do have our "moments", and what I have seen is that the way I handle myself in those moments is what is making the deepest impression on my children.

Eighty percent of children's personalities are formed in the first six years of their life.  And 80-90% of their moral development as well as the bond and connection they develop with those people around them most, happens in their first six years of life.

That is astounding to me!!! That is exactly why I do what I do day in and day out.  When I read that statistic, I was even more positive that what I do really does matter.  And that's why my influence {good or bad} is so crucial.

Our children follow our lead.  And the truth is, they see and hear everything.  More than we think.

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I believe as a mother, I have the greatest influence in my children's lives. {At least for right now.}  So I asked myself,  "What kind of person am I shaping my child to be?"  Discipline and discipleship go hand-in-hand.  The way we discipline our children is a form of discipleship.  And I'll be honest, I'm not doing such a stand-up job.  It's like with any relationship....talk is cheap.  "Actions speak louder than words."  I can tell my children how to act and react.  How to love and cherish.  How to respect and honor.  I can recite our verse "be kind to one another, and love one another" a thousand times over, but my actions are their greatest teacher.  Christ took the time to teach his disciples, but He more often led by example.  The example of His own life.

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Jesus taught His people how to love others by loving others.
Jesus taught His people how to serve others by serving others.
Jesus taught His people how to give unselfishly by giving unselfishly, even unto death.
Jesus taught His people how to accept the outcast by accepting the outcast.
Jesus taught His people how to forgive by forgiving us and dying for us.


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"The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God's sight." ~ I Peter 3:4


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What has God spoken to your heart about lately?  What do you do to ensure your children are being molded into the person God created them to be?

Blessings to you!






Monday, October 1, 2012

20 Little Things I Love About Fall...


Sitting here with a cup of coffee, a pumpkin pie candle burning, my soft cozy blanket, soundscapes playing in the background, and a view of the breeze blowing outside reassures me of the idea that I am a homebody.  A nester.  And for whatever reason, this time of year gets my "nesting" blood pumping even more.  I can't wait for the cooler, crisper mornings {and nights}.

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As I sit here in a quiet house,  I realize once again how much I love home. It's amazing how even little spurts of quietness can revitalize me like nothing else.

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It seems lately I've been overwhelmed with a list of issues.  I know that life in general is overwhelming.   Busy-ness is a curse---in my opinion, and we live in a society that is sick with it.   Some busy-ness we cannot control, but some we can.   I also realize that many would say to me that "I have no idea."  I only have 2 children, and they are still young enough to not be so involved in 'things'.  And they are right.  I can only imagine what life will be like in a few short years.  But I also think that learning now to say 'no' will be of great worth in years to come.  I believe that so many of us have bought into the lie that if we aren't running ourselves crazy with responsibilities that we aren't 'pulling our weight'.   Or that if 'we don't do it, no one else will'.  We forget to make God as much a part of our 'to do list' as he is our prayer list.  I totally believe we need to consult Him {and those in our home} on how much we should be 'doing'.

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Sometimes we just need a breather.   And for me, fall is a time to take a good deep breath and enjoy.

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Even though this time of year gets me to thinking about how close we are to Christmas {and talk about busy}, I can still seem to enjoy the simpleness of Fall. 

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So with all of that said, I am linking up with Melissa at The Inspired Room to list 20 Little Things I Love About Fall.  One of the main reasons I love to read her blog is because she is such a big believer in being content with the home you have in this season of life and making the best of it for your family.  I appreciate the constant reminder.

20 Little Things I Love About Fall:::
  • afternoon picnics in the backyard
  • the smell of pumpkin pie candles
  • cuddling with sweet little people 
  • crispy mornings (hopefully;)
  • the comforts of my little nest
  • early morning quite time
  • football Saturday
  • cozy blankets
  • snuggling on movie night Friday
  • soup on the stove
  • pumpkins 
  • pretty leaves
  • raised windows at night (when it get cooler;)
  • pumpkin patches
  • deep cleaning & organizing
  • fields ready for harvest
  • campfires
  • afternoon walks
  • schedules & routines
  • big beautiful mums!
Happy Fall Y'all!