Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Before I start, I want to warn you: this is long! I read not too long ago on one of my favorite blogs {one I love to "stalk"} about this girl and her husband having a slight disagreement. {Okay, to start with, the reason I like her blog so much is because she is so darn honest!} I think more and more I am grasping the fact that it is okay to not be "perfect". Since none of us are anyway, why do we try to live up to an impossible image? This is something that I have been praying God would help me with. I want to be a REAL person. I want to teach my children to be genuine and to not worry about what the world thinks. I love the verses in I Cor. 3:18-20: "Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, {the world's standards} he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight... the Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise,{wise in the world} that they are vain." God knows our heart. So why not be honest? Why try to be "perfect" in any area? And why do we expect others to be perfect? I think some of the areas where I struggle are my marriage, the cleanliness of my house {as you already know}, and John Luke. I cringe when he gets dirty or if he has a booger in his nose or a scuff mark on his shoe. How insane! As for my marriage, I went into it floating around on love clouds and thought that I had it all figured out. I wanted to make my husband so proud and that was the problem. I was too concerned about pleasing him instead of HIM! In the book, "It's All About Him", by Dennis Jackson, she makes a profound statement: "No one is designed to be the center of my life. No human being could fill that place. Christ alone can truly be my all-in-all." How true! Yes, without a doubt I am instructed to be a helper to John and respect him, but not to be "perfect" in his eyes.

I guess the small disagreement {okay, large disagreement} I had with John this morning has sparked all of this thinking, and I have decided to be honest. Before marriage, I thought "love" would make everything alright. Well, I was wrong. I didn't {still don't} always like to say I'm sorry. Well, today was one of those times I HAD to. After a few hours of steeming, and then a fear tears {maybe more than a few}, and some talking really loudly to no one {well I guess John Luke was listening because he was staring at me like I had lost it}, I called John and apologized and invited him to join us at the park for lunch. {That should make it all better, right?}
I realized, Who am I to NOT forgive when Christ forgave me to the point of death?! A sweet lady in my Bible Study told us a really good way of reminding ourselves who we are without Jesus. She says, "All we deserve is death and hell." Wow! That'll humble you!

Of course I am a work in progress! I haven't got it all figured out yet and I know I never will. If any of you have any insight, please share.
I also want to say, I really love blogging! I love to look at all of your pictures and see what's new and exciting. I hope nothing ever happens to this Blogger thingy!!!

P.S. I want to clarify that I DO love my husband and I am so thankful God gave him to me! He is a blessing!

So... if you haven't left me yet, I have some pictures to share of our trip to the park...

The peanut butter and jelly sandwich wasn't as exciting as the french fries. As you can see, he liked the fries much better!

Since I was on the subject, I thought it was a perfect time to tell you about my latest read. A wonderful book about MARRIAGE! It points out the biggest differences in a man and woman. "A wife has one driving need - to feel loved. A husband has one driving need - to feel respected." HOW TRUE!!!


jeff and rebecca said...

Wow Beth I think you have finally figured it all out!!!! That is-- that you don't know EVERYTHING!! Guess what? None of us do. It takes a big person to admit when they are wrong. It took me alot of misery in my life, as well as, my marriage to find that out! Only a spiritually maturing young lady could experience this so early on. I love you and will be praying for you and your marriage. Please do the same for me!

Ashley said...

"that's right. amen, sister!"

Anonymous said...

Wow, Beth, what another blessing! I can't explain to you what joy and fulfillment swells up in my heart, watching you grow up in the Lord!! Some mothers never get to see this. I pray and hope, yes, pray first, that your sisters will follow suit. Spiritual maturity, what a mother hopes she lives to see. Keep on growing! Praying for you,Mama

Julie said...

Oh, Beth...you are an inspiration for all of us "wives" and "moms"!!!! I will definitely want to borrow your latest read!!! Hopefully, I can find time to read it since there is a 2 1/2 year-old and 2 week-year-old in the house! :) How about bringing it when you bring soup on Thursday? John Parker has been going to Guardian Angel but I can go get him early that day so he and John Luke can play.

Ginny said...

Beth, I want you to know that I am thoroughly enjoying your posts lately. I really appreciate your honesty about every day things that we all experience and how relying on HIM will help us through. Come see us soon!

Anonymous said...

Good post! I love all of them b/c your so honest! See you soon!

Anonymous said...

Hey Beth!
I look forward to coming to work so I can read your blogs. Sounds like I need to start reading some of your books. Us old gals could learn a lot from you young ones sometimes. Spiritual maturity has nothing to do with age. You're getting pretty old (spiritually speaking) and it's a blessing to see you age.
I Love you!
Aunt Vickie