Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Mr. & Mrs.

"Maybe you have communication problems over things you think are problems, but God does not. We often focus on people and situations, while God's focus is on us.  He is using the things in our lives as tools for accomplishing his work in us." ~ Paul David Tripp

I believe that God is at work in every situation to conform us to the image of His Son.  And marriage is definitely no exception.  In fact, I think it may be the greatest avenue for molding us into His image.  I found this out quick.  And it is still a fact today.  So many of us think marriage was designed to make us happy.  And I find that to be untrue.  We find ourselves in circumstances daily that prove that idea to be false.  We are two imperfect people trying to do life together.  It ain't easy, Jack.  But behind the circumstances is a God of love who is relentlessly at work to make us holy.  Rather than tell us that God has forgotten us, our circumstances shout to us that he has remembered us and will not leave until his work is complete!

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"The struggles are not a mistake.  They are tokens of redemptive love.  Trials should not lead us to doubt the love of the King; they should convince us of it." ~ Tripp
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After almost 7 short years of marriage, I can confidently say communication is the toughest thing for us to conquer.  Or figure out.  Or get.  Or even sorta-kinda become good at. 

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I'd be totally lying if I said we even have the foggiest clue on how to communicate.  Can someone please tell me...Why in heaven's name is it so hard to communicate with someone you spend the vast majority of your hours with?!!?! 

I just keep holding onto the promise that He's still workin' on me.

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A lot of days, good communication between us has gone MIA.  I feel like we are speaking a foreign language.  The problem is we're speaking two different ones.   It.just.ain't.gonna.happen. 
I found these pretty journals at Dayspring and my little brain said, "Ahha.  This could be a start." 
As I have said before, I love notes.  Notes of any kind, any size, and for any reason.  So, my idea for these little jewels was to enhance our communication skills.  Sounds like a good idea, right?  I have read in the past on several different occasions, that when you just can't seem to talk it out, try writing a letter.  We have done that a few times, and it actually worked.
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So far this is a good plan.  And what I mean by so far, is we've each written one entry.  It certainly doesn't take the place of real, live communication and it hasn't been a miracle worker, but I have hope.  And not to mention, I love to read what John writes.  I usually end up laughing out loud {more than once}, crying, and wondering why in the world we don't do this more often.  Mostly because 1.} He is not a man of many words about some things. So it takes effort. And I like to know he put forth some effort. 2.} It takes time. 3.} He doesn't like to write. {After we got married, he immediately forgot how to write a check.} 4.} He is a terrible speller.  To the point of it being humorous.  And by the way, I love that about him.
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I'll share a few lines because they are just too darn good not to:::
{Note: no corrections have been made.}
John: "I am not going to be able to write as long as you do, or I might fall asleep, or get corpotunnel syndrom or something.  I know I spelled that wrong.  You can quite laughing now.  No really you can stop laughing."

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I have been thinking a lot about this Easter season and how I really want to teach my children that Easter is not about how nice we dress or how many eggs we find, but that it's about the greatest sacrifice ever made.  I have been researching the process of lent and we have come up with how our family is going to participate this year.  Although we are not Catholic, I see nothing at all wrong with denying ourselves of a few things in an attempt to better identify with Christ in those weeks before His crucifixion.  I am very well aware of the fact that we can never know the depths of His pain, but the idea is to somewhat identify with Him through the sacrifice of cetain things we enjoy.  Things such as technology, certain foods we like, and/or entertainment whether it be T.V., internet, or movies.  Just whatever floats your boat.
I said all that to make this next entry make sense:::
Me: Wednesday starts our 6 weeks of lent.  I have decided what I am giving up for my personal sacrifice and for the 'family sacrifice' I was thinking about T.V.  What do you think?"
John: "I don't know much about it, but I already learned it isn't something that comes out of the dryer."
See what I mean!  It's just too funny not to do!!!
And to clarify, just so noone thinks I'm making fun of my husband...before I researched 'lent' I didn't know much more about it than that it wasn't something that came out of the dryer either.  And secondly, I love to read what he writes.  It somehow makes me love him even more!
Hope you and your valentine have a happy day! 
With lots of good communication ;-}


Anonymous said...

I loved this!! I laughed out loud about the lent in the dryer!! We got our Messiah Mystery last week, and were talking about not really knowing what Lent was. When I asked Ben what it was he said, "Lent's that ball of stuff that collects in my bellybutton." And he was serious!! Lol!!
Like the Mr. and Mrs. journals, too!!


Beth said...

Love it!!! I tell John all the time that it is crazy how he can make me the maddest of anybody in the world and then he can make me laugh harder than anybody else in the world! I have laughed about his writings for days. Everytime I think about it I laugh so hard!!!

Mamy K said...

Oh my goodness!!! I am falling out of the chair laughing! I can picture this scene just like I was there!!! Those entries are sooo John!!! I can see your tiny little shoulders bouncing up and down as fast as they can go and your mouth wide open with no noise coming out and John looking at you like you have lost it. And just like you, he makes me die laughing just when I'm ready to choke him! Love yall!!

Beth said...

You have got it down perfect Kimberly!!! Love you :-)